Jed Wallace

Gorilla McBeam’s Trainer 


Crazed Gorilla And Member Of The Infamous McBeam Family Has Reportedly Stolen A 73’ Caddy In Effort To Drive To Pittsburgh Steelers’ Heinz Field


Gorilla’s Trainer Reports Car Stolen And Finds Cryptic Note From Gorilla Written On A Terrible Towel


Los Angeles, CA – August 2012 – A California animal trainer has called for a nationwide search to find his missing 73’ Caddy and the individual he believes to be behind the heist, Gorilla McBeam. The trainer is quick to note that Gorilla McBeam is a descendant of the legendary McBeam family from Pittsburgh, which would explain his overwhelming devotion to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Steelers’ mascot Steeley McBeam, no stranger to controversy himself, abandoned Gorilla McBeam when he was a baby and the trainer believes that Gorilla has stolen his prized 73’ Caddy to drive to Pittsburgh’s preseason home-opener against the Indianapolis Colts on August 19th.


Gorilla McBeam’s trainer had this to say, “I woke up the other morning and there was a Terrible Towel where my Caddy was parked. Written on the towel were the words ‘Don’t Try To Find Me’ and ‘Took Bananas’. I was blown away that he would steal the car, but what happened next nobody could’ve ever seen coming. Gorilla sent me an email with nothing but a link in it to What I saw on that website is right out of Planet Of The Apes and I immediately called the police. Not only did he steal my car, but also he converted it into the most intense Steelers Caddy I have ever seen! He only had bananas, how did he pay for that to be done?”


The trainer and local authorities are asking that anyone with information about the Steelers Caddy or Gorilla McBeam go to and post their findings. The trainer continued, “We have control of the site and now we need help so please update us or contact us through the site and help me find my Caddy. I know that Steelers fans are helping him get from city to city but if you see him driving the car, take a picture and post it so we can track him. And please, if you see Gorilla at the game, do not give him any bananas, he gets crazy and won’t stop doing his Steeler Shuffle. Contact us immediately!”


For more information on Gorilla McBeam or to report a sighting, visit immediately.